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Posts Tagged ‘self help’

It’s that time again, Autumn is fast upon us and as often happens I find myself turning inwards to discover what I need to do to move forward. For the past five years or so I haven’t been completely honest with myself, it has been easier to avoid the truth and fill the holes with other things but this year is different. There is a lot of healing that needs to take place and a lot of things that I have been pushing to one side, stifling my journey and actually pushing myself off the path laid out before me. I spent a lot of time blaming other people for the pain I was feeling rather than accept that I need to find the sources of my pain deep within myself. I feel like I am making positive steps now and that this Autumn is the time to shed those pains and allow love and light to finally come in and fill the holes.

Looking inward is never easy. You see things that you don’t want to see and have to accept the parts of you that you wish weren’t there. But they are there and they are a necessary part of you. A very defining thing happened to me when I started to hide from myself and I have been trying to heal from it the wrong ways. I’ve known what I needed to do in my heart but it was always so hard to face. I can’t keep running from it though, one way or another none of us can, those things we wish weren’t there or like to deny are our issues always come back to us one way or another.

This Autumn I will face them and allow myself to be bathed in self love because, no matter what anyone else tells me and no matter what my dark aspects have been telling me, I am worth it. I deserve to live in light, love and happiness. I deserve to know peace and follow my calling. I have to accept my shadow aspects and love them as much as my light in order to heal and grow.

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Everyone has at least one passion in life, those things that excite and motivate you and that bring you joy and happiness to do. I find that most if not all of the time that I find myself blocked creatively it’s because I have lost connection with my passion.

I love arts and crafts but there’s a difference between enjoying an activity and finding passion in one. It’s my view that it’s the ones that you have passion for that are the really important things in your life.

Since the move I’ve been blocked and my mind has been a bit of a mess of ideas and thoughts. I’ve been drifting away from my passions favouring to invest my time in activities that I enjoy and think I should be doing and all that’s done is solidify those blocks even further.

So today I used my art journal to work through the question what am I passionate about? With surprising results. Doing so has clarified a few things for me and guided me to redirect my efforts and goals. But how do you find your passions?

I think about all the activities I’m doing, enjoy, interested in and that I put my time into for whatever reason and for each one I take a look at how that activity makes me feel. Do I just enjoy it at certain times? Do I find myself wanting to do it above anything else? When I do the activity or think about the thing do I find myself happy, motivated, full of ideas, energy and enthusiasm or do I feel cold, uninspired or like it’s something I should be doing rather than something I really want to do?

Find your passions and follow them!

They bring you joy and peace, they nourish your soul.

They’re what you’re born to do.

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My weekly card readings have become a huge part of my practice and healing, something that I have begun to both look forward to and cherish before I go to bed on a Sunday. There was a time when I used to worry about reading my cards, for fear that they will tell me something I don’t want to hear. It wouldn’t be the first time but when they do tell me less than pleasant things it is always for my own good in the long run. No-one likes facing the fact that they have to look deeper at themselves, their issues and their own downfalls and that they need to make changes in order to grow.

My cards this week were both comforting and a call to action. I’ve known for a while that I’m carrying a lot of fear around with me. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared of moving forward in my whole life as I am about this move. The longer I go unable to find somewhere to move to that will suit us the more fearful I have become. The first card in my reading reminded me of this, how my fear still exists at the root and that it is the block that’s stopping my progress in all aspects of my life.

I’m a worrier at heart, I’ve never been particularly good at dealing with stress and anxiety which is, by nature, rooted in fear. I’m not talking about pushing it to one side or distracting myself from my fear for a while, I’m talking about finding the root cause of my fear and dealing with it as it crops up and grows; bravely facing my fear head on deep down where it exists inside of me.

So I was sitting at my desk today stewing, wondering just how I’m supposed to do that and asking for guidance when a meditative exercise came to mind, just begging to be written down and I’d like to share it with everyone so that, if you are dealing with similar issues, you can try it for yourself to see if it will help.

Face Your Fear Meditation:

See your life stretch before you as a road that you are travelling down. It runs both in front and behind through different locations that represent different points in your life. At times the path forks but always runs in the same direction. What is around you as you walk the path right now? How do you feel about your current location? Ahead on the path you see something blocking the way. It could be an object, person, creature, wall or obstacle for example. What is it and how do you feel about it’s presence? Ask it why it’s here and listen to it’s response whether it be vocal or more of a feeling. Whatever you sense from it is valid. When you are ready concentrate on your heart chakra, feel it filling with light, love and acceptance of this representation of your fear. Say whatever you need to say to it and something along the lines of “thank you for the lesson you have brought me. Go in peace and love as I need you not.” Embrace the person/conquer the obstacle/see it diminish and disappear in front of you, whatever feels right to you and move past it, continuing along your path without looking back.

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This is my mantra for this week; the message the cards gave me only far more eloquently put than I was able to scribble down while doing my weekly reading last night.

All three cards in my spread encouraged me to face my fears in different aspects of my life, all of which have been in a huge period of transition this last little while; business, love life and home. The first told me I had to face my creative fears (business), the second my emotional fears (love life) and the third the fears of my mind (home).

Facing your fears brings relief, peace and happiness in the end. It’s the only way to really move forward at times as we have to take that step through the thing we fear or never move past it into joy. I know this but it doesn’t make it any easier to do.

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love like

…there’s no limit.

Whether it’s yourself, your friends, family, pets, lover or community.

Love is the one the one thing, in all it’s forms, that never runs out.

Love has no limit, it grows bigger and brighter the more it is shared.

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be authentic

There’s a phrase that I prefer to ‘be true to yourself’ and that is to ‘be authentic to yourself’. I’m not sure why but the word authentic holds so much more power for me. It makes me stop and really look at what I’m doing. It feels right to ask myself ‘am I being authentic?’. So what is it to be authentic to yourself?

I believe that being authentic is being you, warts and all. It’s about acceptance of the good, the bad and all that’s in between, it’s about listening to that feeling in your gut that tells you the new person you just met isn’t someone you should spend time with, or the soaring in your heart that encourages you to keep doing something regardless of what others may think and acting on those feelings. It is trusting and valuing your opinion and thoughts, accepting them, owning them and acting accordingly.

I’ve been trying to remind myself of this, particularly that last sentence whenever I doubt my intuition or my opinion and as a result I’ve found not only my personal power has grown but the value others place on my opinions has likewise improved, at least in my view.

So my message for today is to be authentic to what you need, want, think, feel and dream. Each of these thing is valuable and important and should be treated as such.

Your opinion matters. You matter.

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relationships wishes banner

Relationships have been a sore point for me for a while now. The more entrenched with my depression I have gotten over the years the harder it has felt to be able to forge, sustain and enjoy them. I also have times where I have fairly crippling social anxiety, often, I have realised, due to self confidence issues.

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately trying to rediscover and boost my confidence levels through self acceptance and love. It has been difficult, progress is slow but it is happening and the further I get the more easily I can distinguish what is toxic for me. I was amazed to see just how many of my friendships and acquaintances were not healthy for me and equally amazed at how often I was needlessly cruel and negative towards myself.

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My relationship wishes:

1… there was more love in my life

2… I could find a relationship to thrive in

3… I had more real friends

4… i was more social

5… I didn’t get so anxious around people

6… I did more with people

7… I didn’t allow my depression to ruin my relationships

8… I accepted love from others more easily

9… I had a better relationship with myself

10… I had supportive relationships

Of all of these wishes there is one that I know needs to come first and that is to love myself and have a better relationship with myself. I can very well expect love from others if I can’t show it to myself.

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