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Archive for the ‘Word of the Month’ Category

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So another year is almost over and I found myself having trouble thinking of what my word for December should be. Insightful is one of those things that just happens rather than something you can make happen. I spent a lot of time looking over my tags for the year in my smash book and I decided there was really only one thing left to add to the year’s lessons and that was to take away all of my insightful moments, remember them, learn from them and LIVE.

Sometimes, particularly when living with depression, that is one of the hardest things to do. Life is painful, hard and full of challenges but it’s important to live through them and learn from them. This is a reflection I often have at this time of the year when I look back at the twelve months that have just passed and all of the experiences I have had both good and bad. I keep going, I live through it, I’ll keep doing so and I’ll be stronger for it.

So whatever life throws at you keep going… be inspired, make connections, take the time to recharge and dream, be called to action, find beauty in what you deem ‘ugly’, play, love, change for the better, accept what you experience, listen to yourself and LIVE!

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I think one of the hardest things we have to learn at some point is to LISTEN, not just to the people around us but to ourselves. It can be very easy to let our minds wander, to not fully concentrate, to just nod our heads and make sounds of agreement when we have conversations only to come away from the interaction with this sudden realisation that we actually have no idea what was just said. I know I have done it before and chastised myself for not being present and there with the person I have been talking to.

Often it becomes even easier to not listen to ourselves. How many times have you thought something or felt that gut pull in one direction or another and not listened, leading to either finding yourself in a situation your gut was trying to help you avoid or missing an opportunity your gut was trying to tell you to go for?

I find that I listen to the wrong things sometimes, the negative things hold more sway then the positive, they are easier for me to believe, particularly when my own inner gremlin is repeating them day in day out. So we listen, but selectively and that selection is often masochistic on our part and involves us buying into the lies we feed ourselves.

So how do I listen, really listen, to what I need to hear?

By taking the time out of life to be quiet, to concentrate and really hear what that quiet encouraging voice inside of us is whispering and most importantly to believe and hold onto what that voice says.

Take some time today, whether sitting in silence, walking or doing something for yourself to check in and see how you are really feeling. Listen, really listen to yourself, accept and believe what you hear and use it to take a step forwards every day this month.

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I accept the good with the bad

I accept my abilities and my faults

I accept my depression

I accept my fear

I accept my anxiety

I accept my imperfections

I accept me.

Sometimes, accepting ourselves entirely is hard. We have this knack of being mean, critical and judgemental towards ourselves but it’s important to accept all the facets to our personality to find happiness. Each one of us is a beautiful individual who has to carve our own path through life.

My word for October is accept, not only for my self acceptance but as a reminder of how important it is to accept the things around us as well. My work often doesn’t go according to plan, sometimes i make things I don’t like and I have to accept it, sometimes situations are out of our control and all we can do is wait and ride it out. Sometimes the people we love make choices that we don’t want them to make, sometimes it rains when we need sun. Rather than stress out the best thing we can do is accept what is happening and move alongside it on the path of least resistance.

You don’t have to like it but sometimes you just have to accept it.

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There was really only one word I could choose for September given the amount of change that is coming my way. From the start of the school term on Wednesday to the fact that my little man will be starting school next week. He’s doing half days for the first two weeks but then he’s there full time and suddenly I’m not going to be looking after him everyday anymore. It’s oddly heart wrenching to think about despite knowing that I’m still his mum and he’s still my little boy.

With both of the children at school I will be suddenly left with an influx of time and, I expect, a feeling of not being needed anymore. My baby is growing up, everything is changing and though I know it’s all necessary and for the best it is unsettling, more so for me than the children I think.

There are other changes happening too, the big one being my delving into starting my own business which is due to kick off this week with the coming new moon. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared but it’s exciting also. I’m due to register my business with the start of the school term and as of Thursday I officially go self employed.

There are changes everywhere this month and I can only hope that they will benefit us all positively and bring us new and happy times of growth and development.

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A lot of people have this misconception that love hurts, this is simply not true, it’s the absence of love that cuts like a knife and can leave us falling into the depths of despair. Love is beautiful, light and healing, if it’s not that to you then it isn’t love you’re experiencing but something else.

I’m not just talking about romantic love though, I mean all love. Love for friends, family, the earth, universe, spirit and, often forgotten but just as important, ourselves. This month, with the kidlets home for the summer holidays it’s all too easy to focus almost exclusively on them and forget about me. I’m trying very hard not to let that happen by loving and nurturing the different part of me; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I find doing so raises my awareness and capability for love, it sends love pulsing out of me towards others and reminds me of the love I think we all need to return to the world around us to help it heal and be the kind of place that we want our children and their children to inherit.

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One of the things I have begun doing is attempting to catch and stop negative thought processes, not just towards myself but towards everyone around me and turn that negativity into love to send back to them. It’s hard at times, especially when I really feel myself getting peeved about something, or at someone, but it’s not just in their best interest to do this, it’s in mine as well because all that negativity you think on and send out gets stuck in your own energy to fester too.

Love is the most precious and beautiful thing we can experience and share, it costs nothing, heals all and is something all living things need to thrive. Don’t be miserly with it please, because when we share love it multiplies.

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I often struggle, when I’m doubting myself, with the idea that I’m allowed to do something I love and enjoy it, particularly that I am able to have a career doing it. I tell myself that work shouldn’t be enjoyable, it shouldn’t be something that makes me smile on the inside. For some reason the word work has really negative connotations for me, I’m not sure where that has come from but it’s definitely there for me and, I think, a lot of other people.

So this month I am replacing the word work with play. Play is my word for July and I intend to let myself have some fun, enjoy the process and not think of it as work at all. Sure, there’s going to be things I have to do that I don’t enjoy, ironing for one, but the creative stuff should be playful, childish and most of all enjoyable, otherwise, what’s the point?

I daren’t set myself any targets, which, given my personality, is highly tempting (I love targets and achieving them). I want to say I’ll create something every day and post about it but I know I’ll beat myself up if I don’t do it, so instead I’m going to say I’m going to play everyday. I may blog, tweet or facebook about them…I may not, as long as it’s ¬†organic and making me happy then it is all good.

So I invite you all to have some fun with me, don’t make creativity a chore, have fun with it and play!

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Until today I really had no idea what my word for June would be. This morning I was sat drinking my coffee and thinking about what’s been holding me back these last few weeks and it has been a general dislike for and lack of confidence in what I had been creating. The word ugly fitted my thoughts well and so this month is a reminder to me to at the very least tolerate everything I create, even the ugly work, the images that make me cringe, the writing that’s not just below par but well off the mark and the pieces that just won’t co-operate with my vision. The point is that it can all be learned from, the ugly stuff, even if it’s only ugly to you, is part of your learning curve.

I regret all the work I threw away in my student years, all the sketchbooks I lost or destroyed through my depression. I don’t regret creating them but I do regret that I don’t have them anymore, that I can’t look back over them feeling the burn of embarrassment in my cheeks because they are awful to me and yet see the value in them and my progress from them. ¬†Even the ugly creative output of mine has value, sometimes even more so than the work I am pleased with.

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