It’s that time again, Autumn is fast upon us and as often happens I find myself turning inwards to discover what I need to do to move forward. For the past five years or so I haven’t been completely honest with myself, it has been easier to avoid the truth and fill the holes with other things but this year is different. There is a lot of healing that needs to take place and a lot of things that I have been pushing to one side, stifling my journey and actually pushing myself off the path laid out before me. I spent a lot of time blaming other people for the pain I was feeling rather than accept that I need to find the sources of my pain deep within myself. I feel like I am making positive steps now and that this Autumn is the time to shed those pains and allow love and light to finally come in and fill the holes.
Looking inward is never easy. You see things that you don’t want to see and have to accept the parts of you that you wish weren’t there. But they are there and they are a necessary part of you. A very defining thing happened to me when I started to hide from myself and I have been trying to heal from it the wrong ways. I’ve known what I needed to do in my heart but it was always so hard to face. I can’t keep running from it though, one way or another none of us can, those things we wish weren’t there or like to deny are our issues always come back to us one way or another.
This Autumn I will face them and allow myself to be bathed in self love because, no matter what anyone else tells me and no matter what my dark aspects have been telling me, I am worth it. I deserve to live in light, love and happiness. I deserve to know peace and follow my calling. I have to accept my shadow aspects and love them as much as my light in order to heal and grow.