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Archive for September, 2015

It’s not just my blog that hasn’t had much love lately, my youtube channel has also been a little lacking in content. Time to remedy that with a look at my travel art kit for when I want to do some art on the go or while watching TV…

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It’s been a while since I posted anything on here but for good reason. So much has been happening what with the holidays, our trip to Disneyland Paris, the start of the school year, secondary school visits and our impending move now that we have finally found a place to live. It’s been insane and my mental state has been up and down like a yoyo. This week though, now that things are finally starting to line up, I’ve had time to think.

I’ve known for around six months that this is and would be a huge transitional time for me and that it would be one that lasted a while before anything seemed to improve. Absolutely everything in my life has been having a complete overhaul. It’s been hard to hold onto my faith that things would get better and that when the changes really happened it would ultimately lead to joy and growth for me, believe me some days it’s felt like an impossible thing. I didn’t even realise that I had been fighting the changes as much as I had.

Last week was highly emotional, I cried… a lot… at pretty much everything. I couldn’t stop and it was incredibly frustrating to me but today I realised that it was something I needed to do. As the pieces of the puzzle began to slip effortlessly into place and I could see that what I’ve been waiting for over these last few month was finally going to happen and I started to naturally let go of what I’ve been holding onto, all the good and bad that this house represents for me, all the drama and tears I’ve cried in it, all the happy memories as well. I spent a week simultaneously celebrating and mourning the last nine and a half years of my life here and boy has a lot happened in that time.

I’ve really never been a conventional person and I don’t believe that I’m made for a conventional life even though I feel that’s what’s expected of me at 32 years old with two children. I finally saw that the dream I was trying to force myself into was bringing me so much stress and anxiety and all these feelings of failure because it’s not the way my life is supposed to go. This other, scary, unconventional, right feeling way is the way I’m supposed to take to find my happiness and growth.

And so I cried because sometimes tears are necessary in order to release the memories and experiences we need to let go of in order to grow into the people we are meant to be.

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