When I was a child I used to sit at my Nan ad Grandad’s house and play shop with all the mini rations packets they saved from the war. One of my favourite things to do was play with the ‘hundreds and thousands’ sprinkles Nan used for baking. I would tip them out onto a plate and spend hours hand sorting them into all the different colours and putting them into separate pots to sell in my shop only to then mix them all up and start the sorting process all over again.
My desire for order, organisation and my ideals of perfection have always been there. Perhaps it’s the Capricorn in me, perhaps it’s the OCD I have in my personality but I do and always have liked order. I have learnt, however, that while order is nice it’s not a good thing unless you are lenient enough to allow chaos it’s place, to let your plans go awry sometimes and be spontaneous. The older I get the more I let order go, at least to the extreme measures I used to allow it. Recently I have been inviting order back in, bit at a time and it’s certainly helped me day to day, it has it’s place but if I become too rigid with it, try to force myself into an order that has no lenience such as time-tabling my whole day, things fall apart.
When I paint, I don’t like to plan, it happens with my journals and my fictional writing too, I just get stuck in, make some marks, write some words and see what comes from it. With my hair I find myself favouring chaos. Allowing my hair to dread and do it’s thing is letting go of all control with it, something I have wanted for ages but not dared to do until this year.
As with everything in life it’s a matter of balance, you need both. Too much order can create stress, there’s no freedom, plans are so rigid and set that they are vulnerable and prone to shatter like glass if faced with external pressure. Allowing for chaos gives us some flexibility but too much can have us spiraling out of control. Chaos brings individuality, expression, creativity and spontaneity in a world we are often taught needs to be serious, orderly and kept in check.
I had a lot of fun with this page and it seems that black and red were my main correspondances for ‘chaos’ which I found quite surprising. There’s a lot going on with it, my post was scribbled in it’s first draft underneath, a few scraps of paper added along with modelling paste, red sprayed acryllic, black ink, paper cutouts and crayon (both drawn and melted), my dymo label maker creating the most orderly part of the spread. It’s true though…
…out of chaos comes order.