This is the second page in my journal, a single one based on a blunder with the hospital this last week which funnily enough came to a resolution (I hope) today. I have been booked in for surgery for the last month on Thursday 1st November, getting a bit uptight about it due to the wait and all but dealing. Then last week I got a phone call from a woman at the hospital asking if I would be willing to change my Friday appointment to Sunday as there was a space if I was interested. Now due to the difficulty I have in being a single mum and having to arrange both baby sitters and transport for this I said no but did pick up on the whole Friday part.
Two conversations later and I was told that they sent me the wrong date in the letter. Needless to say I was pretty annoyed, she offered no apology just said it was ‘a case of human error’ and that my appointment was the same time on Friday 2nd instead. The biggest issue was that mum and dad had to book time off work to look after the kids and take me/pick me up from the hospital. It was a pain to rearrange but alternative arrangements were made and yet still something in my gut felt off, I told mum that something didn’t feel right with the whole thing but tried to just get on and deal with it.
Then yesterday I got another phone call from the same woman saying that she had sent off my appointment info to me again and that I was booked in for the Friday. To make certain I phoned her only for her to tell me that I was now due in in the morning not the afternoon. So more jiggling around had to ensue including notifying family so they knew what was going on and could be around and available to pick me up when it was over.
To top the situation off I then got my confirmation letter through today and it says I’m actually booked in for the afternoon on Friday and not the morning. Confused yet? I sure was. I left a voicemail and kept trying to call as no-one called me back until finally I spoke to a different woman who confirmed for me three times (yes I asked her to check, check and check again) that I’m definitely registered for surgery in the afternoon which meant us having more phonecalls and shifting things around.
All in all it was frustrating and messy, I’ve been tense for days over it, more so than tense over the actual thought of surgery. It’s shown me that despite the fear I was having I do want it done and done this week, the thought it could be taken away from me made me actually want it rather than run from it which has been a positive thing.
The angry stick man is Larry, I have no idea why he’s even there but he was born when I started creating the page. It was a bit of fun and a good stress reliever all in all. As you can see I try not to take the pages too seriously or over think them. I’m notoriously bad for perfectionist thinking and all that does is stifle my creativity and block my work good and proper. The journal is all about having fun, making mess and just creating without worry, criticism and thought so I can help to free up my mind and inspiration for other play as well.
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Ahh, the first page is always the hardest in an art journal and I must admit I kinda cheated to take the pressure off a little with this one. Last weekend I did some crafts with the kids, we tie dyed kitchen roll and then used the excess paint with straws and cocktail sticks to make messy paintings. My one becoming the first page in my journal after a trim.
As you can see I punched holes in the page and then tied the page in with white thread. Originally I had intended to use this as a background for a page but I liked it so much I left it as a page in it’s own right in the end.
It makes me smile and reminds me of the fun I had making a mess with my children one rainy Saturday afternoon. I may just add the start date for the journal to this first page with regards to month and year keeping it simple and understated.
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…there was the WORD. And the WORD was BIRD…
Only kidding, but damn I do love that Family Guy episode, I think it will have to make an appearance in the art journal very early on!
Seriously though this post is an introduction to my art journal, don’t expect much, I just thought that it would be interesting to show pictures of how the book began as well as how it develops and what it becomes as I work on it.
As you can see it’s a plain, boring black sketchbook, spiral bound and with an elasticated strap around the right edge. There are several reasons for this, the first and most important being that it was cheap, a decent size and did I mention…cheap! In the future I may make some of my own hand made journals to fill but for now this was what I had available to me.
Normally I tend to steer clear of ring binder sketchbooks because I generally prefer a hardback book, I did, however, feel it would be interesting to add things to the rings and really work with them to incorporate them into the journal in their own right. I also felt the rings would make it easier to attach other pages into the book as I dislike gluing such things in over existing pages. It’s another reason why hand made journals can be so good to use, particularly if they are not bound until all of the pages are complete.
I’m uncertain whether I will leave the elastic strap on or remove or alter it in some way, it will depend on what happens to the cover as I already have some ideas for using polyfiller to create some interesting texture there…but perhaps I have said too much!
I gesso’d a double page this evening in the journal ready for another day and I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the paper despite it being a cheap book. For those interested the paper is, according to the packaging, 150gsm and watercolour paper (though it does not feel like traditional watercolour paper to touch). I guess I’ll see soon enough how well it stands up to being messed with in various ways. Let the fun begin!
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There has been a lot of stuff over the last year or so that has thrown me drastically off track. While I crave to be at the point I once was with my work I have been finding it hard to get back there. That spark is still there but for the longest while the breath that should ignite it has been blowing it out. I have creative spats where I might get a project done or more often than not started but never quite finished.
To combat this I have been toying with the idea of doing some art prompts for others to join in with if they would like to. I brought a new sketchbook the other week and it’s been sitting there clean and white waiting for me to work on it. Some days it screams at me to do something to fill it, some days it’s silent or perhaps it’s just my mind blocking out its cries.
Regardless art journalling, I have decided, is something I can do to get me creating again, to bridge that gap of silence and let it sing. As long as I can push aside that voice that tells me it’s not good enough, not perfect (an incessant and annoying byproduct of my depression which has been rolling in hard and fast this last year or so), then I know it will help me to loosen up and let go.
That’s the plan anyway, I hope to share my journey as a way of pressing myself on with it, giving myself another reason to do it and to get me blogging again. I’m the first to admit that I have been far more sporadic lately with this kind of thing than I used to be, it’s something I want to remedy, just one of many things you could say. It is however one of the things I CAN remedy, that I have some control over when there’s a lot right now that is out of my control.
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